Happiness

My newest meditation...from the book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, this (and many other bits from the book) has me thinking differently about happiness, in fact our destiny in general:

"...people universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will maybe descend upon you like fine weather if you're fortunate enough. But that's not how happiness works. Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it."

Well said.

Sharing

I hate it when my kids share...(cough, cough, gag, choke)

OK - I love it when they share some things, especially with each other. Like their toys, their activities, their friends, etc...and no, it doesn't happen as often as I'd like it to. They are after all, almost three years apart in age and that explains alot...

But I hate it when they share THEIR GERMS with me (more coughing, sneezing, nose-wiping, choke...). We weren't sure if K4 had allergies or a cold last week, you know the symptoms...coughing, sneezing, sniffling, teary eyes, stuffy then runny nose, a bit of a sore throat. She even asked to stay home from her beloved summer program one day.

Well, I guess it was a cold. Unless allergies are contagious too. Because now guess who's all coughing, sneezing, sniffling, teary eyes, stuffy then runny nose, a bit of a sore throat...yeah, that's right.

I hate it when they share their germs with ME!

Cousins

This picture was taken back in May (Gasp! Where HAS the summer gone?) when we visited MamaGoose, her goslings and gander in May...I've been meaning to post the picture for a while. I've been a bad blogger of late, have to work on that.

The picture reminds me that no matter how far away you may conduct your day to day business, when you get up close and personal with the people you love, things just naturally go well. Look at those smiles!

Even if the Sea Dogs lost, the memories we made on this day will stay with us for a long long time. Thanks Auntie Maine!!!

I promise to post pictures from their July visit with us BEFORE October...

WHAT warning?!

Yeah, I know...living where I live this should come as no surprise. But W.T.F! We have a frost warning for tonight and I just planted 15 rose bushes and now I've got to figure out a way to cover them all tonight. I'm thinking big garbage bags may do the trick in a pinch, or 5 gallon buckets? Anyone who has a great (and preferably simple) solution...shout it out!

Looking on the bight side...it is ONLY a freeze warning and at least I shouldn't have to SHOVEL anything. Oh now WHY did I go and type that out loud? Hope I didn't JINX myself...

Look what we found!

It's wonderful to know that at the mature ages of 9 and 11, both K3 and K4 still get a thrill out of most things in nature. We found this robin's nest on our front porch and we're watching daily to see nature in all her glory...more to come!

Happy Mother's Day

I saw this video today:



Taylor Swift is clearly a very talented young lady and both K3 and K4 like her music (OK, OK, I do too!) but this song just struck me.

I was talking to my Dad today who called to wish me a happy mother's day and to say he understood it must be a bittersweet day, knowing how much I miss my own mother. He's right - I DO miss her. Every day.

This song (and video) though reminded me how my mother really built a great foundation for me and that I have so many wonderful memories to call upon when I get sad.

I'll never stop missing her. This is a fact but I can remember all the "best days" she shared with me and how all she did for me made me able to be the mother I am today.

I love you Mema. Happy Mother's Day!

Lost Generation

I love this...and I hope you will too.

Sweet Ride!

Yes - I can see me riding into town and doing all my errands with room to spare in this buggy. Or maybe just traipsing around with the kids on a summer afternoon, picnic in tow!

I hope that if you don't win this (you COULD win this!) I DO! I looks like a real sweet ride!

Check it out here:

Hooray Hooray!

My mother was many things, loving, supportive, honest, loyal, capable and many more. But one of my favorite things about her was her irreverence. Don't misinterpret. What I'm talking about was an uncanny ability she had to do or say something so completely surprising that you were just, well...SURPRISED!

One of my favorite examples of this was what has become one of my favorite "Mema" quotes. Quite a few years ago, she was overheard to say (and said every year on this day from then on) "Hooray, hooray, The First of May! Outdoor Screwing starts today!" Til the end of my days not one single May First will pass without my thinking of her, and this, and smiling.

I love you Mema. Now and always.

The Name Game

A new blog friend of mine recently gave me inspiration in thinking about what we (and others) call ourselves. Names are important I think.

When hubby (Kevin) and I (Kate) learned we were pregnant we pored through baby name books and searched and seached for the names we like best AND agreed on. One this that came out was that we both had a preference for names starting with K, boy and girl names.Since we did not find out the gender of either child until the day they were born, we ended up with a "short list" (sort of) of both male and female names and figured when we met the little critter, we would make our final decision.

Our first-born was a boy and funny thing was we really didn't have any girl names we felt 100% about. We had three boy names on the short list and ultimately chose Kiefer as his first which in German is a barrel maker or cooper which is Kevin's mother's maiden name. Kiefer's middle name is my mother's maiden name and now he goes by a diminutive of that and is called Mac as a nickname. We love it and think he does too.

A few years later when we were expecting baby # 2 we asked the then two-ish Mac what name he might choose if he had a baby brother or sister. Sadly I don't remember what he chose but thank God she ended up a girl because his pick for a baby brother was "Gunpowder"!

Our daughter's name is Karli which means "purest snow" in Greek and since we live in a very wintery wonderland it suited her (February birthday and all). Her middle name is also a family name from my mother's side.

Dear husband is Kevin as I said above...he is called Kev by many and in high school had the nickname "Cakes", I think because he has a great ass (OK, so maybe I'm biased)! Our pet name for each other is Bubba. Now how romantic is that!

Now me, I was born Katherine but growing up my paternal grandmother nicknamed me "Tink" which was the diminutive for a Russian variation of Katherine, Katrinka. As I grew up I had reasons to dislike the nickname (merciless teasing from playground brats didn't help "Stinky Tinky" and so on...) and when I finally ventured into the business world I felt I needed a more "mature" name so became Kate.

It has stuck and although I do feel it fits me and I like it, I sometimes now wish I had left well enough alone and kept Tink which is who I will be "inside" forever. I've actually asked my immediate family to go back to calling me Tink if they want. My grandmother, God rest her soul, never adopted the name Kate and called me Tink to her dying day.

As my new friend (also Kate) pointed out, names are important. And how we see ourselves and call ourselves is important. Do me a favor, make sure you call yourself good things only. No bad names. Deal?

In their honor

Your cell phone is in your pocket.
He clutches the cross hanging on his chain next to his dog tags.

You talk trash about your 'buddies' that aren't with you.
He knows he may not see some of his buddies again.

You walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty girls.
He patrols the streets, searching for insurgents and terrorists.

You complain about how hot it is.
He wears his heavy gear, not daring to take off his helmet to wipe his brow.

You go out to lunch, and complain because the restaurant got your order wrong.
He doesn't get to eat today.

Your maid makes your bed and washes your clothes.
He wears the same things for weeks, but makes sure his weapons are clean.

You go to the mall and get your hair redone.
He doesn't have time to brush his teeth today.

You're angry because your class ran 5 minutes over.
He's told he will be held over an extra 2 months.

You call your girlfriend and set a date for tonight.
He waits for the mail to see if there is a letter from home.

You hug and kiss your girlfriend, like you do everyday.
He holds his letter close and smells his love's perfume.

You roll your eyes as a baby cries.
He gets a letter with pictures of his new child, and wonders if they'll ever meet.

You criticize your government, and say that war never solves anything.
He sees the innocent tortured and killed by their own people and remembers why he is fighting.

You hear the jokes about the war, and make fun of men like him.
He hears the gunfire, bombs and screams of the wounded.

You see only what the media wants you to see.
He sees the broken bodies lying around him.

You are asked to go to the store by your parents. You don't.
He does exactly what he is told even if it puts his life in danger.

You stay at home and watch TV.
He takes whatever time he is given to call, write home, sleep, and eat.

You crawl into your soft bed, with down pillows, and get comfortable.
He tries to sleep but gets woken by mortars and helicopters all night long.

This was a "chain letter" of sorts sent to me but it really got me thinking about the bravery and selflessness our soldiers show...every day. It's easy at times (too easy for me I confess) to complain about things that just seem so trivial when compared to the plight of our troops.

I may not believe in or support this war (or any for that matter), but I do support our soldiers. Whether they are young or old, men or women, first timers or re-enlisted, their bravery simply stuns me. That they willingly go to the lengths they do to protect our freedom or to create it for others is nothing less than amazing.

In their honor, I salute, and pray today.

I really love this, for what reason I'm not sure?

http://www.veryshortlist.com/web/daily.cfm/review/758/Web_video/thorntons-stuck-ad/?vp

(can anybody help me figure out how to make this look like the video screen instead of just the ugly string of letters that is the link?)

I learned today that a dear friend's mother died recently. So terribly sad. Whenever life ends, there is tremendous confusion. I feel as though I've been put into suspended animation, a bit like this ad which I saw today for the first time.

I know that I've walked this path, but my path is different from anyone else's. It's easy to feel that we can give advice and painfull to know that our advice will not help. My heart breaks and heals all at the same time.

I recently read a sad story about a dog from the perspective of a six-year-old boy. Our family has shared our home with more than one loyal and lovable member of the canine persuasion, so the story caught my attention more than most.

It told about the family dog that had cancer and had to be euthanized. The father and mother thought their son could learn something from the experience. As the dog slowly drifted away, the little boy seemed to accept the dog's transition without any difficulty or confusion. The family sat together for a while after the dog's death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. The young son already had it figured out, and announced, "I know why."

His explanation was stunning in its depth and simplicity. He said: "People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life—like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right? Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long."
We can learn a lot from dogs. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal anyone has ever made.

The veterinarian who cared for this dear family pet, and so many others, offered some other lessons that dogs can teach us: (There are 65 million dogs in the United States.)

1. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them. Dogs treat us like celebrities when we come home. There's nothing wrong with showing people that we care about them.
2. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride. On warm days, there's nothing wrong with stopping to lie on your back on the grass. I think of Richard Gere's character in the movie Pretty Woman. He was so busy working—doing big business deals—that he never stopped to enjoy walking barefoot in green grass until Julia Roberts showed him.
3. Take naps. Many of us are on overload, so in life you have to know when to throttle up and throttle down. If you can't take a nap, at least take a break. It will improve your disposition.
4. Run, romp, and play daily. If you have a chance to have fun, go for it. Life presents plenty of difficult times, and we all need a break every now and then. My motto: work hard and play hard. 5. Let people touch you. Don't be aloof. Allow people to get close to you.
6. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do. Just make sure your bark isn't as bad as your bite. It's okay to warn people that you're upset or even angry, but keep your temper in check.
7. When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body. Happiness is the American way. After all, the Declaration of Independence says we are endowed "with certain unalienable rights that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." So we have a right to be happy!
8. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk. Exercise is always good. I've been doing it all my life. It just makes me feel better, gives me energy to work more productively and, I hope, live longer. My philosophy is: Exercise doesn't take time; it makes time.
9. Be loyal. In a recent column about loyalty, I wrote that one of the first qualities that I look for in both employees and friends is loyalty. And my friends know they can expect my loyalty in return.
10. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it. I'm constantly asked what the secret of success is, and persistence is at the top of the list. When you study truly successful people, you'll see that they have made plenty of mistakes, but when they were knocked down, they kept getting up ... and up ... and up.
11. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently. People remember two things in life—who kicked them when they were down, and who helped them on the way up.

Moral: My goal is to be as good a person as my dog thinks I am.

Just SO proud

I am just so proud. Of all of us. We've been waiting and fighting the good fight for almost two years (or eight, depending on how you look at it). And last night we finally got our chance to stand up and make it all count. Make it add up. Make it matter!

And we did it. This amazing thing of starting a change. I think of it as a quiet revolution. And I think there's more to come. I love that Obama has united and ignited our passions and has brought belief and hope back to us. It is a marvelous feeling.

And I am just SO proud.

Oh yeah, and on another note...K4 - after a hard fought campaign of her own was elected President of her 3rd grade class yesterday. I can hardly stop smiling.

November 4th, 2008 - a day that will go down in history!

So exciting

It's a day of unbelievable excitement and anticipation. I've been covered in goosebumps for a good share of the day already. I won't get to vote until later tonite and am simply chomping at the bit.

K1 called to tell me he did vote - and to my great pleasure he shared his choice with me. I was worried, but he made (in my opinion) the right (and only) choice!

Hooray for small (and LARGE) victories!

By the rules

I've always been a person who lives by the rules. Mostly anyway. I believe in the 10 commandments, the Golden Rule, and yes, some rules ARE made to be broken.

I found the following Rules for Life recently and thought they were worth sharing:

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three R's:
Respect for self
Respect for others and
Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone.
9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life. Do all you can to create a tranquil, harmonious home.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19. Call your mother.
20. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

All true. # 19 made me cry though because even now, more than three years later, I still wish I could call my mother sometimes.

I found another list too and #1 really made me chuckle. So I have to post this too because one of MY rules is everything balances out...eventually.

1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.
2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.
3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are, "I apologize" and "you are right."
4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
5. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.
6. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her - believe them.
7. Learn to pick your battles; Ask yourself, "Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?"
8. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.
9. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
10. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.
11. Work is good, but it's not that important. Money is nice, but you can't take it, or anything else, with you. Statistics show most people don't live to spend all they saved; Some die even before they retire. Anything we have isn't really ours; we just borrow it while we're here... even our kids.
12. Be really good to your family and/or friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.
13. If you are going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it,you may as well laugh about it now.

There, balanced.

Tears + laughter = good.

He's OK

I am full of joy tonite. A pepeated topic this week. My boy (K3) is OK. But today was big (and little) in a few ways.

I got a call around 12:30 at work today from K1, "I have to leave work right now to take K3 to the emergency room"

WHAT?

The school nurse called and he was "CUT" at school.

WHAT?

And WHY were you called instead of me (not that he isn't fully capable of handling ANY emergency but for CHRIST'S SAKE, I am the emergency contact on every piece of paper ever filled in for this child)?

Well...the school nurse called and said he wanted ME to pick him up to take im to the hospital.

OK.

So...later...much later and several phone calls later...I learn that a classmate inadvertantly cut him with a pair of scissors (did any pair of scissors YOU ever used in middle school ever cut ANYTHING?!) and he has a cut on his hand that probably requires stitches...

OK...a few calls more and it's not stiches but glue he needs and I'm feeling better. Kind of. I'm still wondering WHY he wanted to call his Dad and not me to take care of him. I found out tonight - thankfully with a nice bottle of wine - that he was worried about ME. He did not want ME to be upset. He did not want to see me CRY.

OH CHRIST.

I AM an emotional mother, there's no doubt of that. And my boy is growing into a wonderfully responsible and thoughtful young man. BUT I AM HIS MOTHER and I SHOULD TAKE CARE OF HIM. ANd I don't want him to worry that I am not able to take care of emergencies without tears.

I feel like I need a good cry...he's growing up. Very nicely, thank you.

SNOW DAY!

Yes - it's October 29th and we have our first snow day of the season. Schools are closed throughout our region. Joy indeed!

Naturally, the kids are beside themselves with excitement and have already been outside x-c skiing (sort of, since it's a really wet clumpy snow) and snow shoe-ing. This afternoon we'll attempt a snowman, or maybe a snow PUMPKIN!

Jeesh, we haven't even had Halloween yet, let alone Thanksgiving and already K4 is asking "when are we getting our Christmas tree?"...I don't have the heart to tell them that if the snow days keep coming at this pace, they'll be going to school in July...

JOY

Next week is the week I participate in the 5x5 project and I am excited! I have always loved photography and almost always felt that I don't use my camera nearly enough.

I've also always known that I am blessed beyond belief and that my world is full of amazing and beautiful people, places and things that bring me great joy. I am looking forward to documenting some of those thing in this project.

Now seems a particularly good time to focus on the things that bring me joy and happiness since my company laid of about 25% of our employees this week. Times are tough and I see no relief in sight. And while I'm thankful that I am still employed, I am afraid for my friends who were let go. They are amazingly talented people and will be OK I'm sure...but what an awful time to be seeking employment. I also admit I am afraid for what the future holds for my company.

So in the week ahead and on I will focus on the good. Focus on the joy and try to share that with as many as I can. To have joy one must share it.(Lord Byron)

Thank You

Thank you Lord, for letting Finn go home yesterday. Thank you for the healing hands that touched him and for his mother's extraordinary strength, patience and humour in staying by his side all that time and never uttering one word of discontent (other than "well I guess we'll have to get him a set of his own Marvel Dinosaurs since he loves the one in the hospital play room SO much!"). He is home now and hopefully fully on his way to total health once again!

Thank you for the glorious fall day yesterday. Both K3 & K4 had fun planned with friends and that always makes their weekend more complete. K4 went to a birthday party (having received her invitation at 7:00pm the night before (WTF?) and happily we were able to find JUST what she wanted to give her friend in a local store the morning of and she happily reported "It was S's FAVORITE present of them all! She had to play with them right away!"

Thank you for letting us (me) find K3's cell phone... Yeah, here's a good one...after his football fun with his friends went to another house to jump on their trampoline. Apparently they decided it would be cool to put K3's cell phone on the tramp and see how high they could bounce it. Well, let me tell you...they bounce high and fly far!

When I arrived two of the five were searching on hands and knees in the grass (the other three - including the instigator - were still happily bouncing) and K3 reluctantly explained the situation. I helped them search (yes, he had the ringer on "vibrate" to add extra challenge to the search) for about 20 minutes and was about to give up, get in the car and write his phone off as lost. Instead, I marched to the trampoline and told the other three to evacuate and help with the search until we phone the phone since they were all involved in it's disappearance. Finally, after about another 20 minutes of crawling I did find the phone - it had flown over 20 feet in the air, over a split rail fence and landed in a brushy, abandoned garden area. It was undamaged and I do believe a lesson or two was learned.

Thank you for good company. Our fine friend J is here with us for another week and not only is he lots of fun to have around, he is a perfect guest (by my estimation) in that he doesn't mind that my house is not always - in fact, not often - immaculate, he eats what's put on the table and he shares with me his stories of when his children were the same ages as ours and gives proof that all can survive!

For these things and many more, I say Thank You.