If no creative juices flow...just vent.

Well, a month has passed and I don't feel any closer to my "creative" brain. For whatever reason I keep hoping that the thought of blogging will somehow bring me back in touch with the feeling that I am creative, I can organize my thoughts into some (at least semi) intelligent content and write in a meaningful way. Geez, when I put it like that, and see that I've posted abolutely NOTHING in over a month I feel like a real lost cause. I know I'm not (a lost cause) so I guess maybe I just need to put any old thoughts down here and see what happens.

So here's my rant for the day - I've been a card holder with a certain credit institution for 22 years and have used the card just enough to have it memorized. Despite K1's periodic urgings to burn the card I have kept it because I think that the longevity of my ownership and connection with this card says something about stability (whacked, I know).

Well, a week of so ago I get a NEW CARD and a letter in the mail which explains that due to a potential DATA BREACH, my card number is at risk for unauthorized use and therefore, to protect me my card has been cancelled and a new one issued.

I should be happy, right? Happy that my credit card company is looking out for me. Happy that because of their concern, I won't be held responsible for potential fraud. Happy that in this age of modern technology and the wonders of cyber-monitoring I am safe.

I'm not happy. I am pissed off. Yes, I do respect and even appreciate that the credit card company took the action they did so I won't become a victim, but I MISS my old card number. I feel that a connection (OK, it is absurd to connect to a number, I know...but I still remember my very first driver's license number for God's sake!) has been broken and there's nothing I can do about it. It makes me angry that people out there steal credit card numbers, it makes me angry that people develop computer viruses and hack into security systems or credit card databases and wreak havoc on people. It's just wrong, on so many levels. And now I will have to memorize a new card number.

There, I vented and I feel a little better.

Today's the day!

No, not the day when my creativity returns, it's our annual SUMMER BASH!

Yeah, I think we're pretty much ready. The food is bought and prepared, the beverages are chilling, AG will be here to "inject" the turkey in preparation for it's boiling oil bath, what, you've never had deep fried turkey?! Oh you must try it! CP has promised his famous Northern Pike nuggets. Games and diversions of all sorts are ready to go, mostly.

And K1 is obsessing. That is the true indicator that we are nearly there. It's not even 7am and he is vacuuming the pool for the second time. He is worrying we that we haven't mowed the lawn (criminy, we've had 12 days without rain all summer!), he asks me for the 4th time where I think he should place the next tarp...

I love this man more than words can tell but he can truly drive me crazy over the littlest things. This is a FUN party we have every summer for our friends and I look at it in a rather casual way I guess. I have never been the kind of hostess who color coordinates napkins with tablecloths or plans menus intricately. K1 feels every detail must be scrutinized and re-scrutinized. And it makes me crazy.

I do wish he could relax a bit more before the fun begins. But the good news is, he will eventually settle down. And once the party gets started he will kick back, grab a horse-shoe and revel in the company of friends and have fun. I just hope the rain (and his well placed tarps) hold up.

Let's get this party started!

Waiting

So, here's the thing. I'm waiting for the creativity to strike. My sister has been blogging (quite beautifully) for a while now and I have so enjoyed her posts and those of others here as well. And since I was encouraged to start a blog, I'm drawing a blank. And therein lies the problem. Well, not exactly a problem I suppose, but a challenge.

I was at first intimidated a bit but thought it might be fun and might also inspire me to regain a certain creativity that feels very far away from me lately. I worry that I've become utterly uninteresting...so a blog might inspire me to see things from a different perspective. Right? So I'm waiting for something to inspire me andthen, I'll be back. For now, it's the same old same old...

Grow

It was shocking to her smiling at me here this morning. I have been inspired to think about / start blogging by my marvelous sister but it is scary, daunting, uncomfortable and yet it is something that feels right and like I need to do it. I don't know why. Yet.

But seeing the photo in my first post was somehow comforting and Mema's smile reminded me that she is with me and no matter what part of what cycle I'm in, she is with me. Urging me to forge onward. Reminding me of what she taught me. Do your best, stumble at times but always pick up and carry on.

Grow, share, live.

Love.

Because she taught me...

Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop away from you like the leaves of Autumn.
–John Muir